The Car with Two Assholes

Isaac piped up from the back seat: "Why does this car have two assholes?" 

He was examining his red race car lunch box, turning it over in his hands. I said, with a careful non-judgmental tone, "Um… Why do you ask?" 
He said, "Well, because you could put the gas in this side OR in this side, and I don't understand why you need two places to put the gas in." 
Oh, GAS holes! 
I said, "I don't know. What do you think?" 
"Maybe with more gas it can go faster?"
"Sure," I said. "I bet that's why." 
Meanwhile wracking my brains: what is the correct word for the gas hole? Surely it has a name of some kind. I mean, gas TANK. Yes. And Gas CAP. But do we have a name for the orifice itself? I couldn't think of one. If you know of one, please share it with me. It would be nice to offer a replacement term. 
This brings to mind an unfortunate phase of Isaac's toddlerhood, when his delight in foxes was at its peak, and his English pronunciation was not yet 100%. He pronounced "fox" for all the world like "fuck." Which left me in the awkward position of shepherding a little boy around the zoo as he happily shouted "FUCK! FUCK!" at random intervals. I would say in a nice loud clear voice, "Yes… a FOX, such a pretty FOX!" To clarify for the horrified on-lookers. 
AH yes. 
The red race car lunch box may be the best purchase I ever made. Through its wonderful power I was able to convince Isaac to just TRY staying for lunch at school. The lunch box was a huge incentive and source of joy. He tried it and my day got immeasurably easier. If he stayed until 3:15, instead of only 11:30, I could come home with Elias and have some sort of catch-up time. I could do laundry! Unload the dishwasher! I could drink tea and read the paper, if Elias were sleeping, or even sleep myself. It created a whole lot of freedom. Isaac tried it once or twice with mixed results. Sometimes he liked it sometimes he didn't. I settled us into a routine of just one day a week. Then he seemed okay with that and so I upped it to two days a week. My idea was that I would work it up to three days a week, and schedule some sort of exhausting physical activity for the other two days. Then suddenly, early last week, Isaac announced that he would now stay for lunch every day! 
So suddenly my life just got a whole lot better. Now, instead of the predawn scramble to get the kids and me out the door, followed by dead time on the east side (errands or coffee shop with the baby), followed by an insane afternoon trying to contain the uncontainable force that is Isaac, now it's just get him to school and come home. This is better for Elias, too, because he gets my full attention at least some of the time. He's not just carried all over the place like a purse. We can work on these baby brain-building exercises I have been reading about, and also just cuddle, nurse, and smile at each other at will, rather than always being torn asunder. For Isaac too I think it's a lot better. He gets to play on the playground, eat lunch with the other kids, and work all afternoon with the marvelous Miss Stephanie on important projects. The other day he busted out and counted all the way to 29! And said the entire alphabet in order. He's been reading cars to me– today at a stop light he spelled out CHEVROLET very carefully. 
We're coming up on Christmas break. Then in January, if all goes well, he will stay the full day everyday but Tuesday, when he has skating lessons. I hope to get his piano lessons in after school and swimming on Saturdays. (Elias will start his baby music class then too, and surely pick up a lot while sitting through Isaac's piano lessons all the time.) 
I really think this set up will work, and I'll be able to function! Thank you, car with two gas holes! 
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