Okay so on Tuesday I had to eat the radioactive breakfast special at the Cleveland Clinic (radioactive egg beaters, slimy and extremely hot from the microwave, with very, very welcome toast and jelly on the side and a refreshing paper cup of tap water). It was tedious. They made me and this other lady scarf down the feast in a narrow time frame. Then for the next 4 hours we had to occasionally lie down inside a large machine and get our picture taken. (This was the “gastric emptying” test. Turns out — good news– my esophagus is quite a mess, but the rest of my stomach works fine!) In between photo ops we were free to sit in uncomfortable chairs listening to FOX news blare about Super Tuesday.
Somehow I came home from this experience feeling very wiped out, exhausted, starved thirsty and all around miserable. Then yesterday I just felt like everything was a struggle, being as utterly bone tired as I was. I had a lot of running around to do, per usual, and made some recordings on my heart rate monitor. I did notice that it was clocking in at over 160 bpm and, yes, it occurred to me that it was quite fast. Also, I felt like crud, was seeing spots, and generally wanted to gently crumple to the floor on more than one occasion.
But I made it through the day somehow– got the kids to and from school, and Isaac to gymnastics and so on. Then around 9:00 I noticed that my monitor was full and so called it in. To be honest I suspected that they wouldn’t like it. And I was right. I got put on hold for ages listening to relaxing music. Finally the lady came back on and asked me for another recording. I took one, and my HR was only 105-110 while I was lying down, and so I thought that would appease them. She put me on hold again for a long time. Then came back and said that the on-call cardiologist at the Cleveland Clinic recommends that I go to the ER for evaluation. At my discretion.
It was the “at my discretion” part that made it tricky. I discussed it with Ben and I could see that he thought it would be a huge hassle and waste of time and I shouldn’t go. I did a cost-benefit analysis. Option A: go to bed and be cozy vs. Option B: go to the ER, get poked, be held prisoner for hours, and then go home and lie awake trying to unwind after all the stress. But along with the first option came just that little trace of dread. What if…?
Ultimately I decided that being anxious instead of cozy was not a good choice. I figured– it’s just routine. They’ll just put me on an EKG for five minutes and say I’m fine and then I can go home and go to sleep. I had this nagging little voice that said “maybe the cardiologist is right and there is something to be concerned about.” So I went. Ben and kids stayed home in bed. The kids were anxious about it and Ben I could see was just bone tired and fatigued by the whole thing.
Unfortunately– and I’ll remember this next time– they don’t just put you on an EKG for five minutes and let you go. They set up tons of monitors and wires and of course run an IV, draw lots of blood, make you pee in a cup, and generally make a fuss. It takes on life of its own.
They ran in a liter of fluids, which felt sort of nice (cool, and refreshing!). I just lay there and watched random TV. It was very boring, and uncomfortable. The nurse intimated that they might admit me!! Which was not on my radar screen at all. But when it was all over, in fact, they set me free. It was 1:30 a.m. and if I was tired before I was now even MORE tired! The doctor frowned on me driving myself home, and I was less that totally steady on my feet leaving the place, but finally I got out on parole.
So… I’m anemic. Big whoop. My first concern was whether I’ve been anemic all along, and this incredibly obvious thing got missed while they were busily checking my blood volume with radioactive isotopes and what not. The Clinic had no record of a CBC (complete blood count) among the tons of blood tests I had done in 2009. This distressed me no end. But lo– so happy! — I called my ordinary doctor and bless her she did test for it that extremely dizzy summer! And it was fine. So I’ve developed anemia for some reason in the last two years. Okay, fine. Whatever. It may be making me more dizzy than usual now, though. But once we figure out why it’s like that, it’s quite treatable.
Today at least teaching my writing class was cancelled for me because the kids have a big science olympiad this weekend. I got the boys to school — with clean clothes and hair combed and homework and nutritious lunches and a purple hoe Isaac needs for a skit they are preparing. This seems like enough of an achievement for one day.
And now, as Samuel Pepys would say, “So to bed.”
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