For the last two weeks, we've been embroiled in the start of school. The first week, it was logistically awkward, because Isaac had only mornings and Elias had one hour a day with me there. The times overlapped, but still I was spending a lot of time here and there killing time, and of course it provided no succor at all for my exhaustion problem.
This week has been a little better, because Isaac is now in full days. Elias has phased up to two and a half hours a day, with me not in the room but in the hall. So I've been hanging out with the other mothers… you've got Hysterical Mother ("everything in my house is bolted to the wall"), Mother Who's Had Work Done (those are NOT real), and Likely Friend Candidate Mother, and many others, so it's been sort of an interesting Cawfee Talk type assemblage.
However, today we are not at school. I dropped Isaac off and brought Elias home, where now he sleeps. I should be sleeping too and in a few moments I will partake. The last few nights, Elias has been sleeping very badly and torturing me by waking me up all the time. I asked him at one point if something hurt and he indicated it was an upper back molar. He also had a runny nose and a very sore toe, upon which he had dropped a large flat rock during one of our many cricket hunts. (The amphibian population is in a state of constant flux; at the moment we have a grey tree frog and one small toad. Going to the pet store all the time for delicious crickets is a pain, but so is hunting for our own crickets. And I can tell you that, after a long hard day, staying up and catching ants one by one to feed a hungry frog is a lot less fun that it sounds.) But the real problem was that last night we were up half the night with another terrifying croup episode.
I was about three minutes short of calling 911 at one point, and Ben and I spent an hour or so with me holding the very ill boy and Ben reading things on the internet about croup. At various moments it seemed that I would need to take him to the ER. But ultimately we got it sorted out, airway working again, and got a bit of sleep in the 2 a.m. to 6 a.m. range. However Elias is clearly sick (good cheer and cuteness notwithstanding) and so I'm home with him today and chillin.
Next week looks pretty bright, though. If all goes well, next week I will be allowed to actually LEAVE the school building, with both boys in it, and go someplace else! Sweet freedom, Earl Grey and the New York Times await. Child-free walks in the woods and writing time! I'm very excited. Two and a half hours a day may not seem like much, but coming on the end of two solid years of total personal-time deprivation, it's a WEALTH.
Elias, too, seems incredibly happy to be a school boy. The first few days, when I was in the classroom with him, he didn't stray far from my lap. He would venture a short distance to see some play-doh, or a little basin with water and toy fish, but if the teacher so much as glanced at him, he would come running back to me for safety. But this week, he owns the place. At the door I've been trying to get his attention to tell him that I'm going to stay in the hall, and I'll be here if he needs me, and he's like WHATEVER! Who cares!! I'm busy! He's got mopping to do (with this adorable tiny mop); he's got paint to spread around at an easel and its environs, baskets of farm animals and insects to be dumped out and sorted; gold balls to be dropped into a huge plastic bottle; a mirror to be squirted and squeegeed; a sandbox to be explored; and much much more.
It's an idyllic place. I think that all last year, dropping Isaac off, it pained Elias no end that he was not allowed to stay and touch and fondle everything in sight. Now he can. He just seems totally in his element. The sight of eight toddlers on a field of green is soothing to the eyes. He's with his peeps. He hasn't cried or needed me at all, not once. Indeed, I'm totally irrelevant when he's there. I once read something about "Motherhood is working for your own obsolescence." This is an important step along the path.
What a fine fellow! As his teacher put it, "He's wonderful!" We'll get this croup thing licked, and then he'll be back in action soon.