Looks like we have had tried the wrong string instrument with the wrong boy. Yesterday we finally gave up on Isaac's cello career. (Washed up at age 6! Oh well, there's always science.) He's been miserable since about lesson two, when the teacher spent way too much time micro-managing his way of holding the bow, until he was just about in tears. After that, the concerts at home fell quiet, and the giddy early days of cello high faded away. I tried to rehab the situation, got the teacher to accept a way less than perfect bow hold, and to focus on Twinkle-twinkle or something that would in some way resemble a pay off.
But it never worked. His teacher was good humored and kind, but seemed at a loss as to how to deal with him. He refused to touch the cello between lessons, struggled the entire way to lessons, and coped by joking or talking about Godzilla during lessons. I struggled with the whole debate of "teaching sticktuitiveness and self-discipline" vs "teaching to try new things." What I began to feel was that by not letting go of cello I was in effect teaching him to avoid the risk inherent in trying something new. The risk was that if he didn't like it, tough– he'd be stuck in tar pit forever. this was not a message I wanted to send.
So I made a few false steps at stopping cello, and then on Monday finally pulled the trigger. On Monday morning he spoke in such calm and lucid terms about it that I had to make a move. Granted it 4 a.m. and we were lying side by side in bed. He realized that it was cello day and got furious, "I hate this day!" he cried. Then he said, "You know, I just thought I would have a couple lessons and then play the concert. I didn't realize it would be so much work!" I knew that he was right.
So we brought the teacher flowers and a card, and bid adieu to her. Then yesterday we went to return the cello from the lovely workshop from whence it was rented. I had both boys in the car and brought them in so they could look around while we did the paper work. Elias has shown an interest in the violin in the past, like when he first saw one (and somehow knew what it was) and walked up to it and said, "mommy I play the violin." A statement, not a question. So this time we had a moment and I asked the young hipster stringed instrument guys there whether they could bring out a tiny violin for elias to look at.
They brought out two– a 1/16th size and a 1/32nd size. I'm telling you– doll violins! So tiny it was just incredible. But beside Elias, they were exactly to scale. He's come up to 2'8" tall now and so an 8" violin is perfect for him. Within a moment he put it to his chin and said calmly, "Can I have a bow?" The man went to get him a bow while Elias stood patiently waiting. Then he began to, well, PLAY it. I mean, not Mozart, but making decent sounds and standing up straight and just looking all around like he's been doing this all his life. Or in a past life?
Then he said, "Can I go home?" and began to walk towards the door with his violin and bow. But he stopped and asked, "Can I have a case?" I mean, sure, you need a case before you'd bring your violin out in the rain. The guys were really impressed. I said that I'd really have to get him a violin soon and they said that I absolutely must. But I could see where this was heading– to an ugly scene in which I would have to rip the violin out of his hands.
It crossed my mind that I should just hand back all the cello paperwork, tell them to keep the rent and deposit they were refunding, and switch the instruments. But there were problems with this idea– the most important one being that I'd tried in the first place to find a workable Suzuki program in our area for Isaac to do piano and had found it to be impossibly complicated. Well– not impossible, but it would mean yet more driving in a complicated schedule of driving, and getting up and out at 7:15 on Saturday mornings, and other distasteful factors. Also I think they have terms, the next of which starts in September, and so if I took the violin right now we'd have it for months before he could start lessons. I don't know– I think now that I should have just let him keep it. Another factor was that I was exhausted. it was the end of a long day and long week in which I've been doing everything while quite sick. I had a headache that was phasing into a horrible ear ache in my left ear and just wanted to get home.
In any case, that's what happened. I told Elias that the violin lived there and we'd come back to see it soon and he began to run off with it clutched under his arm like a football, and I had to chase him and wrestle it from his fierce grip. He screamed bloody murder with huge tears pouring down his cheeks. I handed the little violin back to the guys and said, "I bet this is what Itzhak Perlman was like when he was two and someone ripped a violin out of his hands," and they smiled and nodded and said, "Oh yeah, I'm sure it was!"
But now I'm on the case. I will get him a violin and find him a way to learn it as soon as humanly possible.